Friday, December 5, 2008

OK, I Need Your Help

My new story, titled Khaladin, is a story about a girl named Judy. Her aunt's horse, Penny, ends up giving birth to a unicorn foal. Well, technically, he's a half unicorn. Long story short, they try to keep him a secret, but the baddie finds out and kidnaps Khaladin. In trying to find more unicorns, said baddie tortures Khaladin.

Here's my problem. The age group I'm targeting is upper middle grade. I don't want anything real gory and gross, like Khaladin lying there dripping in blood. But I would like something that appeals to both sexes. Most girls don't tend to like a lot of blood and guys are like, "Yes, blood!" I'm somewhere in the middle. But do any of you have any suggestions on how to do this scene? Yes, it will be told from either Khaladin's or baddie's point of view.

PS: If you are a member of http://www.absolutewrite.com/ (aka AW) you can go to the children's section and read one chapter that I posted of this story. Also, I have a thread about the torture topic in The Sanbox titled, Unicorn Help......Again.

6 comments:

Ray Veen said...

I critted your excerpt for you on AW.

About the torture, maybe you should just skip it, and start up again in the aftermath, implying that something horrific has happened to the character. That's how you keep your 'G' rating.

But fifth and sixth graders are exposed to way more graphic media these days.

Anonymous said...

i'd just leave it out like V said.

and thats not what kids SHOULD read even if they can handle it.
I don't think anyone would care if it wasn't in a book, cuz books start from inside their minds, unlike movies and such.

Ian said...

I'm never for following "the masses" , really all the movies and crap that we see that are filled with gore are the ones devoid of intellect that just add that as a filler for where they left out the most important part which is the content.

To me the most important part of either a book or movie is the message , putting gore in just to please the blood thirsty mainstream brainwashed majority isn't a good creative decision and creativity is needed to stand out. So only put gore in places where you feel its necessary to depict the intensity of the situation or as a metaphor of sorts to explain pain or some tragic thing.

So in short don't put gore there just for the sake of having it there you have to find justification for it in a deeper meaning or to depict the pain or intenseness of the situation. Never put it there just to conform to a generic genre , youth mindset , or anything like that :)

My perspective comes from an observation of the downfall of the mainstream I suppose, but Madison you're a very creative person and you don't need to conform to some standard because your work should be an expression of you and your mind , feelings ect. Therefore only you can truly determine if the blood is needed in the book but just make sure the reasons for putting it in there are good ones and not just to please this new generation which I described before but either way good luck ! :)

Madison said...

Thanks, guys!

I'm really not sure if I can leave the scene out, though. I'll have to see.

Thanks Big Plain V! I'm going to go check it out right now!

BFF, you may be right when you say no one would care. I'll have to think about that.

Again, Ian, you truly do sound like a writer. I would love for you to write a piece just so I could read it! :)

Ian said...

Thanks Madison! :) I don't know if there will be any writing from me anytime soon but who knows anythings possible and if that does happen you'll be informed haha. :)

Madison said...

Thanks! :)